What Is Good Parenting?

OK, first off, what are my credentials? Well I’ve had almost 18 years of first hand experience bringing up two wonderful kids, I admit I have made my mistakes, but I hope I have learnt by them. There are books that are written by so called experts that may contradict what I am about to say, but I don’t care, it worked for me and it may work for some of you or at the least give you some ideas.

The Bundle Of Joy Arrives!
You have just been blessed with a miracle, which at the moment is like a fresh piece of clay and its future shape will depend largely on how you work it on the wheel of life. Its a scary thought and so it should be. The first few years are very important, it will need the gentlest of touches and all the loving care and nurturing you can give. The more time you devote in the early days the greater the bond and truer the form it will take.

There will be many times that it will scream at you but no good will come of it if you rant and rave back. It doesn’t understand you. You first have to find out whats wrong. Is it overly moist, or are there other lumps present in the clay? Yes, then a diaper change is in order. Is it too dry and cracking, then a temperature check is called for, as something may be amiss. Not taking on the right shape, is the size of your work of art on the small side? Perhaps some feeding is in order. None of this is working then what is needed is probably a bit of loving attention.

A Toddler Emerges.
So you’ve given it all the loving attention that you think is required and you place it in the kiln, after a while you take him/her out and you now have a little toddler running around getting into all sorts of mischief. Patience is definitely a virtue now. He will be looking for all sorts of attention, the trick is to reward good behaviour and to ignore or give a firm NO to bad behaviour. This can be tricky sometimes because if ignoring does not get the reaction he’s looking for he will recommit the crime. Remember as frustrating as it can be anger on your part is not on unless its controlled anger. The first is a useless emotion that has clouded your thought process leading to improper action on your part. Controlled Anger occurs when you can step back for a moment take a couple of breaths, count to ten and access the situation. Perhaps no anger at all is needed and you merely have to take the child aside and explain the consequences of what he is doing.

Controlled Anger is to be used sparingly and in dire situations and done on the spot. No point saying “wait till your dad gets home” this is useless because at that age they have a short attention span, have forgotten what they’ve done and won’t know what they are being told off for. The action required may be the raised voice or a smack. Once again sparingly, those who do this at the drop of the hat and at all behaviour will cause the child to become immune to this sort of teaching practice.

The Teen Years
OMG! What have I got myself in for is the reaction of many parents, usually the ones who have not taught the child in the early years when you were able to bend and mould them. If you wait to now you will have a hard time ahead of you. All I can say good luck, just remember, whatever the pain and sacrifice you have to go through, it will all be worth it.