Because We Are Men
Sorry girls, but I don’t care what you say, its damn hard being a man. Guys we are the underdogs, what chance have we got when women have it all over us?
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re considered a male chauvinist pig. If you stay at home and do the housework, your a pansy. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her and the kids. If you don’t work hard enough, you’re a good for nothing layabout. If we have a boring repetitive job with low pay, we should get off our asses and find something better. If a man gets a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism, if she gets promotion ahead of a man, that is equal opportunity.
If we mention how nice she looks, that is sexual harassment, if we keep quiet, that is typical male indifference. If we cry, we’re a sheila, if we don’t, we’re an insensitive bastard. If a man thumps her, that’s wife bashing. If she thumps him, that’s self defence. If he makes a decision without consulting her, he’s a chauvinist, if she makes a decision without regard for his feelings, then she’s a liberated woman. If he asks her to do something she doesn’t enjoy that is domination, if she asks him, its a favour.
If we appreciate the female form and sexy underwear, we’re sexual perverts, if we don’t notice, we’re poofters. If we like a woman to keep in shape and shave her legs, that is sexist, if we don’t care that is unromantic. If we try to keep ourselves in shape, that is vanity, if we don’t we’re slobs.
If we buy flowers, we’re after something, if we don’t we’re forgetful. If we are proud of our achievements, we’re up ourselves, if we aren’t we’re not ambitious. If we ask for a cuddle we never think of anything else but sex. If we’re totally whacked after a bad day at the office,then we never give a stuff about other people’s needs.
If she has a headache, its because she is tired. If he has a headache, its because he doesn’t love her anymore. If we want it too often, we’re oversexed, if we can’t perform on cue there must be someone else.
Its bloody hard being a man.