A sailor came home from a secret two year mission at sea only to find his wife with a new born baby.
Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
“Was it me bloody mate Jock?” he demanded.
“No!” his weeping wife replied.
“Was it me cobber Jerry then?” he asked.
“NO!!!” she said even more upset.
“Well which one of me bastard mates did this then?” he asked.
“Don’t you think I have any friends of my own?” she snapped.